A Top Ten Memoir: 1971 - "Feeling Like I Don't Belong..."
As I mentioned during the intro to this memoir, 1971 was the first year I began buying my own records. It is rather curious that an 8-year old would choose the Carpenters’ Rainy Days and Mondays as one of the first 45s he ever bought though!
Of course, I was falling big time for the music of the Carpenters, I didn’t like rain or storms, and well, I guess I didn’t like Mondays. This latter detail really didn’t hit me until sometime later. I actually enjoyed school for a while at the time. I remember only missing two days of classes during my entire second grade. I had a wonderfully nice teacher named Mrs. Ryan and had many friends in my class. It was also a pleasure coming to school after those long weekends we’d spend up at my future stepfather John’s family’s farm. Don’t get me wrong, they were nice people up there near Ashland, Wisconsin. I just wasn’t into the whole scene. Everyone seemed happy in the home movies, feeding cows and cavorting for the camera:
I didn’t want to go there and felt like I didn’t belong. I wanted to be with my TV, friends, and neighborhood in Chicago.
Getting back to school was like getting back to normal. This began to change though when I entered third grade in 1971. One day my friend Danny and I made a plan to ride our bikes to school. I had never done this before but now that I had a cool orange bike with a banana seat, I wanted to try it out and show it off! As I patiently waited for Danny to pick me up while watching the Ray Rayner Show on WGN, I noticed time was quickly slipping away. Since Danny had bike locks and I didn’t, I decided to ride over to his house down the block to find out what the delay was. When I got there his mother told me that he had left already. I panicked! This would mean I’d have to go home, put my bike away, and walk the seven or so blocks to school on my own. It was really getting late though! Once I got back home I decided I’d be too late so I better just stay home. This is when I discovered the joys of ditching school! There were so many great TV shows on during the day! My favorite was Hollywood Squares. With Paul Lynde in the middle and an array of then happening guest stars in the other squares, I loved every minute of it.
Eventually I would begin recording in a notebook who appeared on the game show on which dates and where they sat. (Rose Marie always had the top center square!) This provided some comfort for me during the summer months and on days like this when I wanted to be at home.
If I was feeling nervous about something at school, like gym class, I’d fake sick or just take the day off. No one seemed to really notice at first. One day I came home for lunch, poured ketchup on a wash cloth, called my mother at work and told her I had a bloody nose so I’d have to stay home for the rest of the day.
Another weekday morning my mother and Jeff took our brother Mike to get a cast off his leg. Instead of going to school, I decided to spend time in the basement while they were gone. When I heard them come back I remained hidden downstairs. Soon mom took Jeff to school and then went off to work. I waited a while, opened the basement window, crawled out, walked to the end of the block, and then turned around as if I was coming home for lunch. When I walked in to the house I told Mike I had a half day and didn’t have to go back to school that afternoon. Of course, this being the day Mike got his cast off, he decided to go for a bike ride and afterwards came home saying, “I went by the school and the other kids didn’t seem to have a half day!” I no doubt turned many shades of red but acted as if I had no idea what he was talking about.
By this time John had moved in. During one of my “days off” as I sat watching my favorite TV shows in the living room, I suddenly saw the screen and then front door open as John walked in, shocked to find me there. “Danny, what are you doing home?!” he shouted. I had no answer but to cry. I’m not sure if he took me back to school or if I ran up to my bedroom but I wasn’t happy that I’d been caught.
My last big “day off” I spent in the basement in a room John had constructed for us to keep all of our toys and games. Not long after 9 AM I began hearing the phone ring. It would stop and then start ringing several times again. This persisted for about 20 minutes. I knew this was probably my mother or St. Monica calling to find out where I was. By this time, it became pretty clear there was a problem with me and school. About a half hour later I heard mother walk in the front door calling my name. She continued calling as she came down the stairs. My only response to her was “What?” She found me in the constructed room and I began to cry heavily. She hugged me and told me how worried she was about me. When she took me to school my third-grade teacher, a nun Sister Maris, brought me into the cloak room and told me that if I ditched again a truant officer would be after me. This fear stopped me from having my own days off for many years.
Why this was happening seemed to be related to John. I feared him for no apparent reason other than he looked mean, he had a strong voice, and he didn’t “get” me.
I was very skinny at this point and had little interest in doing anything which would “beef” me up. I was also becoming more nervous and afraid of a lot of things. It didn’t help then that in December of 1971, my mom and John married. Photos from that day show a scared young Danny clearly not happy about this union.
To make matters worse, we shared the same birthday: February 17th. The attention would now not only be on me but on John too.
Here’s the thing: He wasn’t a bad man and he only hit me once, when I talked back to my friend Annie’s grandmother. Everyone loved John, as they loved my father. He quickly became friends with everyone in the neighborhood and was welcomed by my grandparents and other relatives. I wasn’t athletic or into sports like my brother Mike. I wasn’t adventurous or as studious as my sister Judy. I didn’t have the frenetic energy of my brother Jeff as he roared down the street disturbing neighbors with his big wheel or when he played baseball. I liked my girlfriends and liked my TV.
Sonny and Cher began their variety series on CBS in 1971. I was glued to the TV in love with Cher, her long black hair, and her exposed belly button which would be the source of many dreams. I used to love playing with my friends’ dolls that had long hair. They felt so good. I’d imagine Cher’s hair felt the same! (Interestingly at times I felt a strange compulsion to cut their hair. I’ve never quite understood that…) My mom began to buy their records. I loved All I Never Need is You and Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. These were well-produced pop songs which were big radio hits. When sung on their show, the songs took on even greater levels of significance for me. Cher’s solo numbers were always my favorites. She had cool costumes, wigs, and sang covers of other artists' songs or she'd sing her own hits such as Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves which became her first solo number one single. Years later my husband Frank and I would request, as a joke, lounge acts to sing this one because it was so unlike what a lounge singer would typically sing! One of those was Becky Menzies who played at a bunch of gay clubs in Chicago. Every time she'd see us come into one of the bars, she'd start singing, "I was born in the wagon of a traveling show..." I guess we had built a reputation!
My Top Ten of 1971 (I was VERY much into pop!):
1. Rainy Days and Mondays – Carpenters
2. It’s Too Late – Carole King
3. Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves – Cher
4. I Feel the Earth Move – Carole King
5. Joy to the World – Three Dog Night
6. Knock Three Times – Tony Orlando & Dawn
7. All I Ever Need Is You – Sonny & Cher
8. Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers
9. It Don’t Come Easy – Ringo Starr
10. Your Song – Elton John
Buying pop records was a big thing for many of us in the house during the 70s. My mom had her stack of albums as did my sister. The day I bought the Carpenters’ Rainy Days and Mondays I could have just as easily bought Carole King’s double sided single It’s Too Late and I Feel the Earth Move but Judy already had the monumental Tapestry album which contained both songs. I remember being so tempted to buy that single! It was sitting on the shelf at Sears and looked so cool with Carole King on the sleeve and it featured TWO songs! However, I had certain financial limits at age 8. I Feel the Earth Move had such exuberant piano playing and production that it completely captured the feeling of the "earth moving" when falling in love.
One of the things that is so great about It’s Too Late, on the other end of the love spectrum, is that unlike so many of the pop songs of the era (and still today) it has a mature lyric about a long-term relationship that has reached its end. It's not a "he said, she said" attack rather it is about someone coming to terms with her feelings and expressing them to her partner in a very respectful and non-confrontational way. Adding to this is a brilliant production which is one part pop and another part jazz. It's unlike so much that was being released at the time but it became a monster hit (and the Grammy winner for Record of the Year.) It's a classic in every sense.
I remember Joy to the World by Three Dog Night becoming one of the huge hits of the year. It played everywhere. Getting to know the words and singing along with them provided great pleasure! I remember the older kids at St. Monica School got to sing this song at the annual Christmas show. I was SO jealous! (Note: the song was also featured in The Big Chill but this one I liked from the moment it was released.)
Tony Orlando & Dawn’s Knock Three Times was another big favorite of my mom’s. Occasionally, we’d have some big family parties at the aforementioned restaurant/bar that John built, The Heights. They had a terrific jukebox with all the hits of the day. When this song came on, everyone clenched their fists and moved them in motion toward the ceiling as the group sang, “Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me…” It was great fun and probably my first exposure to an “organized” dance movement. It also featured a sweeping production, catchy lyrics, and a dramatic finish. Here’s my sister and her friends groovin’ at The Heights. That’s Jeff jumping t the camera. If only there was sound…
The other songs in my Top Ten of 1971, Ain’t No Sunshine, It Don’t Come Easy, and Your Song I began to admire a bit after their initial releases. My sister became the early purchaser of Elton John records but I grew to love Your Song as the years went on and I began to appreciate the beauty of the line “I hope you don’t mind that I put down into words: How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.” Elton John was still young and untouched by massive fame at this time. I’d put both Ain’t No Sunshine and It Don’t Come Easy on various mix tapes and CDs I would make later in life. Both reflected individual sounds of the era: soul and post-Beatles pop. Ringo Starr was probably the first of the solo Beatles that my brother Jeff and I listened to as kids. His songs were always very melodic and well-produced. This is one of my favorites. It's got great lyrics such as "Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues and you know it don't come easy." Watching the video reminds me of the "blues" I felt in 1971 being forced to ride on a snowmobile with my soon-to-be stepfather John. The fast pace, the directionless drive, and the smell completely freaked me out. I cried whenever he made me do things like that. While some might say exposing a kid to scary things like snowmobiling helps their growth, for me I became more anxious and resentful than ever. From then on I'd pretend to be sleeping whenever I was asked to ride a snowmobile. Life didn't come easy for me with John! Ringo's song is pure delight though!
I think 1971 was a really great year for popular music. Albeit, this is a pretty “easy listening” Top Ten for me. Personally, while four of these songs (Rainy Days and Mondays, It’s Too Late, Ain’t No Sunshine, and It Don’t Come Easy) reflect certain struggles and pain, I think it is significant that while I wasn’t happy with John in my life I still was able to find certain joys in my childhood and these are clearly evident in the other six songs which are much more hopeful and joyous. (Well, Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves is joyous and campy sounding!)
Links to my Top Ten of 1971:
What are YOUR favorites from 1971?
Based on the results of the previous survey, the readers’ Top Ten of 1970 is:
Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head - B.J. Thomas
(Tie) (They Long to Be) Close to You - Carpenters
Band of Gold - Freda Payne
Make Me Smile - Chicago
Tears of a Clown - Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
(Tie) Hitchin’ a Ride - Vanity Fare
Tighter, Tighter - Alive & Kicking
25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel
Let It Be - The Beatles
Snowbird - Anne Murray
Next Up…1972…”Some man’s come, he’s trying to run my life…”
Rainy Days. Paul/Uncle Arthur. Feeling like you’re from Mars in your family. Wow. I can relate.
I really enjoyed reading your story if what you were experiencing as a kid that framed the music you chose. I’m so curious about how “Dan” feels about “Danny,” the vulnerable, scared boy who skipped school, and which one of you, Danny or Dan, picked those Top Ten songs. I hope you’ll continue you exploring and sharing, Dan.
Similarly, I’m still wondering about the “bumpy road” and what lay down on that end of the road. . . What does adult Dan see looking at that road now vs when he was a kid?
It’s really fun to watch all the videos and reminisce about where/when I first heard these songs, too. My friend, Meg, loved “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves,” and I see us in her house playing and hearing that music. Did we dance? I don’t recall. We were only 6. As I watched the video you included, I see Jan Heiteen and hear her story about meeting Cher while working at Mill Race Inn. So fascinating what memories your songs evoke for me.
One more reason you need to make that documentary. . . .