A Top Ten Memoir: 1988 - "Now that the night is over..."
I began 1988 with some voids in my life and ended it feeling much more fulfilled than I’d been since college. First up, my career. I didn’t really know where I was going but having been fired from a job at the end of ’87 gave me license to check out all sorts of possibilities and “new sensations.” (Ok, it’s my theme of the year…)
One of the first things I did was visit Loyola University in Chicago with my friend Paula to check out its Master of Education program in College Student Personnel. Terry, the head of the program, knew Mary, my mentor from UIC, so I already felt comfortable with the prospect of entering the field. The focus of the program related to Mary’s work and my college jobs in Student Affairs. I’d be taking courses to qualify me to work in higher education areas such as admissions, career counseling, advising, and student activities. It seemed really exciting to me as I so desperately wanted to get back into college life one way or another. I was soon accepted into the program but since I had no idea how I was going to pay for it, decided to delay my start to January of ’89.
In the meantime, I needed a job. One area I pursued was substitute teaching. My undergraduate degree gave me the opportunity to sub at a number of suburban Chicago high schools. While it was cool to be finally back in the education system, I was basically babysitting. I thought I’d be cool and friendly with the students but most of the time I’d just take attendance and read the newspaper while they attempted to do some kind of in-class work. For the most part it was fine. I wasn’t thrilled about working with high school students. My main interest was college, since up to this point it was the most satisfying arena I had ever been part of. I was also not wild about being called at 6:30 AM and then having to rush off to a school far off from my city apartment. So, I did this for a few months while trying to balance unemployment checks with other sources of income.
It occurred to me that I could go to one of the temporary agencies, like Adia (which fired me) and find some temporary work. I chose Kelly Services, the company that was known for the concept of “Kelly Girls.” When a company needed someone for a day or two, they’d call for a “Kelly Girl.” Of course, they hired men too and I became one of them.
Soon I was going out on regular one day assignments at companies all over downtown Chicago. They usually weren’t particularly challenging. I’d answer phones and read the newspaper most of the time. However, it gave me the chance to take Chicago’s CTA system of buses and trains to all sorts of places that I didn’t know existed. The jobs would be interesting adventures and, who knew, maybe someone would offer me something permanent as had happened with Tony and Marlee. Plus, I got a slight ego boost when I was named “Temp of the Month” by Kelly.
The most exciting temp job I had was at a classic rock radio station, WCKG-FM. I was the receptionist over two separate weeks. It was cool being there and feeling like I was “in radio.” I talked to a lot of the sales people about their particular profession. I also met with the programming director to find out how he chose the songs the station played. After all, I did have my stint as a restaurant DJ for a few months in ’85. I would have worked as a receptionist full-time at WCKG if I could just to be part of that station. One day I got to work the station’s truck handing out promotional pieces at one of the city parks. It was great fun!
Unfortunately, there was nothing permanently for me to do there but it was thrilling while it lasted.
Since I had loved giving tours as an undergraduate, I even explored the possibility of being a tour guide for a double decker bus company in the city. I tried it a couple times, and really enjoyed it, but they never offered me paying jobs.
I even took an acting class with Javier in hopes that maybe my untapped talent would be discovered! Well…nothing came of it but it satisfied an itch I’d also had for a while but was too shy to pursue.
My Top Ten of 1988:
1. New Sensation – INXS
2. I Don’t Wanna Go on With You Like That – Elton John
3. Paradise – Sade
4. Sign Your Name – Terence Trent D’arby
5. Midnight Motion – Kenny G
6. Wishing Well – Terence Trent D’arby
7. Piano in the Dark – Brenda Russell
8. Devil Inside – INXS
9. Need You Tonight – INXS
10. Ya Ya – Steve Miller
With all of these adventures, I’d end my day back in my studio apartment and put on Kenny G.’s Duotones album which featured the instrumental Midnight Motion. The album was very relaxing and I felt pretty sophisticated listening to this “smooth jazz” while watching the sun go down and the lights come on from other city apartment buildings. I was on the 8th floor so I had a great view. Not long ago I tried to explain to a long-time friend that, yes, I had a Kenny G song in one of my Top Ten’s. It felt like I had lost all credibility because of it! The fact was though that the song and album really did comfort me as I hung out in my apartment trying to figure out my next career move.
That apartment at 4157 N. Clarendon became the location for my first chili party, which would become an annual Fall tradition. I’d make a big pot of chili and offer sides of cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, onions, and oyster crackers. The parties were filled with college and other friends, and a lot of drinking. This first one though turned more into my friend Sue’s resume writing chili party. All of us recent grads were trying to find ourselves at the time so why not do it over chili and beer?
The smoother jazz songs began to be quite popular on another local radio station: WNUA. In addition to Kenny G, Sade was one of its most played artists. Her song Paradise was another soothing hit that made me sit back and fantasize about the many men I was encountering in the city. Using her sultry vocals backed with a hypnotic pulsating beat, Sade sang: “I’d wash the sand off the shore, give you the world if it was mine. Blow you right through my door. Feels fine. Feels like, you’re mine. I’m yours. Your mine. Like paradise.”
Could Florida have been that paradise? During the hot summer months, my friend Tony decided to take a trip down to the Tampa/St. Petersburg area. He wanted to explore the possibility of getting a job at his company in Florida, where he had lived for a couple of years in the early 80s. So, I drove down with him. On our way down we’d listen to Terence Trent D’arby’s (now known as Sananda Maitreya) album which featured the songs Wishing Well and Sign Your Name. There was something very hypnotic about both of these tracks. The former was the first big hit single and was played everywhere from a Florida picnic we attended to numerous bars. D’arby’s soulful voice was sexy as were the lyrics: “Erotic images float through my head. I wanna be your midnight rambler…”
Soon, Tony was offered a full-time job and decided to move permanently back to Florida. I was pretty devastated. It seemed that every time I considered someone a best friend: my childhood friend Stevie, college friend Ron, and now Tony, they all moved far across the country. As I was pretty lonely in my studio apartment, Tony’s companionship had been crucial. We went to bars together. I regularly went over to his condo with Javier in the suburbs and watched Golden Girls while eating cheesecake. Tony’s move would end all of that. I was upset with him for leaving. I was bothered that he even had this opportunity and I was still struggling. Needless to say, he left and I cried. Listening to D’arby’s Sign Your Name then became particularly poignant to me: “Fortunately you have got someone who relies on you. We started out as friends, but the thought of you just caves me in. Sign your name across my heart.” I wasn’t interested in Tony on a sexual level but he was an important friend who had taken care of me when I needed him most. I was heartbroken when he left.
Brenda Russell’s Piano in the Dark was another big “smooth jazz” song that captured an array of emotions with a very haunting melody. I’ve always loved the piano and this one elegantly captured loneliness. Russell’s outstanding, emotional vocal performance also beautifully captured the spirit of the lyrics: “I know I’m caught up in the middle. I cry just a little when I think of letting go.” This partially reflected the sadness of Tony leaving.
On the other hand, Elton John’s I Don’t Wanna Go On With You Like That reflected the anger I felt: “I don’t wanna go on with you like that. Don’t wanna be a feather in your cap. I just wanna tell you honey I ain’t mad but I don’t wanna go on with you like that.”
I cut my ties with Tony for quite a while after his move. He was always a bit of an all or nothing friend. It could feel suffocating to be around him due to his own need for attention. One had to be a very close friend to Tony or he’d disappear completely. At the Top Ten party that year I dedicated Elton John’s song to Tony in a written report I read to the other attendees: “for my frustration at his spur-of-the-moment way of living, for his own inner conflict of wanting tradition and yet being the one to break it, for his intense clinging that made me cling, for his inability to deal with emotions, for his way of holding back anger which leads to silence, for his naivety, and for his ability to make me need him in my life….I don’t wanna go on with you like that!”
I filled the void by working a lot. In addition to working from 9 to 5 everyday as a temp, I began another part-time job in the admissions department at a small business college in the city: Robert Morris College. At the time, it only offered certificates and associates degrees. I worked in a call center and contacted potential students trying to get them to visit one of the college’s three campuses in Illinois. I began really enjoying the job. The people were great and most nights proved to be a lot of fun. Soon, I was offered a full-time position. I was officially back in higher education!
In addition, I made a bunch of new friends at Robert Morris including Howard, Kate, and Beth. They were great to hang out with after work. Howard, in particular, would stay out until the wee hours of the morning with me as we drank coffee and philosophized about life. I’d walk home at 5 AM feeling completely fulfilled. I had also developed a crush on Howard who was a musician that many people thought looked like Sting. He liked all kinds of music, played keyboards and guitar. Piano in the Dark also reminded me of Howard, who was living in his own city apartment with all of his instruments hoping to make it big one day.
I was listening to a lot more jazz and blues at this time. I’d go to clubs with friends such as Natalie and Gretchen and soaked in this non-Top 40 genre of music which was also thrilling and felt particularly grown-up to me. I began understanding what the blues were all about living alone. Steve Miller, who had previously had major rock hits like The Joker, Jet Airliner, and Abracadabra, released an album of blues-oriented songs called Born 2B Blue. I loved the album and especially its lead off track, Ya Ya which was a bluesy remake of a 1961 Lee Dorsey hit.
The words were simple and goofy: “sitting here in la la waiting on my ya ya, uh huh.” The song painted a picture of a guy sitting around his apartment, strumming his guitar, waiting for something good to happen. Hmm…sounded like me but without the guitar! I’d invite Howard over to teach me how to play a Casio keyboard I somehow obtained. In the end though, I was more interested in Howard than learning to play. He ended up being straight but it didn’t stop me from fantasizing.
Throughout all of this INXS’s album Kick was pounding the airwaves. Need You Tonight was the first single with its sexy beat, lyrics, and lead singer. It was one of those songs which captured that need I had to reach out and touch someone like Howard or to be touched: “I need you tonight cause I’m not sleeping. There’s something about you girl, that makes me sweat.” Devil Inside was even more charged with sexual energy as it considered the dark side we might all have. The driving power of the song also reflected all that might be needed to obtain whatever I wanted: “Here comes the man, look in his eyes, afraid of nothing, full of pride. Look at him go! Look at him kick! Makes you wonder how the other half lives.” These lyrics also accompanied me on my Sony Walkman as I joined a health club and began shedding excess weight to the beat of INXS. The lyrics helped to kick myself to achieve the various goals I had for my own physical and mental well-being.
New Sensation became the ultimate definition of the year to me though. I had experienced many new things from jobs, music, new friends and to more loss and depression. I felt I had reached a positive peak though when my coworkers and I from Robert Morris got together for a night of drinking and dancing on Rush Street. I’ll never forget dancing to New Sensation and really feeling like I had found a job and a crew that I enjoyed being part of. The song was exuberant and full of energy: “Now that the night is over, I’ve got a new sensation. Impossible to refuse.” I felt like I had conquered the long night that began with losing a job a year earlier, losing Tony, and missing friends. I was experiencing all sorts of new sensations that were sometimes disturbing but also exciting.
Links to my Top Ten of 1988:
Other favorites from 1988:
What Have I Done to Deserve This? - Pet Shop Boys, For the Love of You - Whitney Houston, Giving You the Best That I Got - Anita Baker, Tomorrow People - Ziggy Marley, Better Be Home Soon - Crowded House, Circle in the Sand - Belinda Carlisle, Mystify - INXS, Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley, What’s On Your Mind - Information Society, Nite and Day - Al B. Sure, Just a Little Bit - Steve Miller
What are some of your favorites from 1988?
My 1988 list (no order at all)
* Straight Up - Paula Abdul
* Angel - Aerosmith
* Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
* Endless Summer Nights - Richard Marx
* Never Tear Us Apart - INXS
(I think at least one Richard Marx and INXS song were required to be on everyone's lists in '88)
* Addicted - Dan Seals
(Uh-oh ... country music sneaking in)
* Make me lose control - Eric Carmen
* What I'd Say - Earl Thomas Conle
(More country? Although this one always made me think "I know what I'D say and it wouldn't be 'wish you well')
* Wild Wild West - The Escape Club
* There She Goes - The La's
Runners up: Don't Mean Nothing; Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters; When You Say Nothing at all ( Keith Whitley version NOT Allison Krauss ... although I did eventually appreciate Allison Krauss, I didn't like when she redid this song); Handle With Care; Every Rose Has Its Thorn; Pour some Sugar on Me (ok ... really? Country and Hair Bands ... what was I thinking?)
Another roller coaster year! I’m glad it comes out with a positive ending. I was never fond of Tony so his exit is ultimately a good thing but I can see how hard it would be when he was so close at the time. Brenda Russell shows up for me below as well. Such a talent!! Nice to see the origins of the chili party and the start of your long career in Higher Education get their starts here.
My 10 favorite songs of 1988 in random order
Pump Up the Volume-M/A/R/R/
Never Gonna Give You Up-Rick Astley
Twilight World-Swing Out Sister
Piano in the Dark-Brenda Russell
When We Kiss-Bardeux
Paradise-Sade
I’ll Always Love You-Taylor Dayne
Time and Tide-Basia
Giving You the Best That I’ve Got-Anita Baker
Waiting For a Star to Fall-Boy Meets Girl
Also liked:
I Found Someone-Cher
Shattered Dreams-Johnny Hates Jazz
Night and Day-Al B Sure
Mercedes Boy-Pebbles
Fast Car-Tracy Chapman
Missed Opportunity-Hall & Oates
Till I Loved You-Barbra Streisand $ Don Johnson
Smooth Criminal-Michael Jackson
Don’t Rush Me-Taylor Dayne
For the Love of You-Whitney Houston