A Top Ten Memoir: 2017 - "The sunroof in my head..."
My short film Counting continued playing at film festivals for several months into the new year. I had a lot of fun attending some of these fests in places like Durham, North Carolina, Kansas City, and New York. One of the great career moments occurred when the film won Best Short at the North by Midwest Microbudget Film Festival in Kalamazoo Michigan.
Not a major fest but I did receive a cash prize and trophy.
My friends Pat and Natalie were there to celebrate with me. (Frank was judging a speech contest, which he regularly has done during retirement.) It felt great and particularly gratifying after all of the years I had put into my career to be getting such accolades. The love for that film was (and still is) deeply felt by the many who have seen it.
My Top Ten of 2017:
1. Beach Boys - Weezer
2. Alone in the Dark – Sheryl Crow
3. Sit Next to Me – Foster the People
4. Sunroof – Courtship
5. I Love My Friends – Foster the People
6. The Man – The Killers
7. Spent the Day in Bed – Morrissey
8. On the Nights You Stay Home – Port Cities
9. Happy Hour - Weezer
10. Counting Down – Cut Copy
The song Counting Down reflected this time in my life a bit. Like the characters in my film dealing with the passage of time I was now well into my 50s. Why not spend it doing things I loved? So, I certainly did.
I was grateful to have so many wonderful and quality friends in my life. In particular, I became much closer to Marco, who enjoyed talking about personal things on a deep level. He also loved to bike ride, enjoy cocktails, and travel. Frank and I took a trip to New York with Marco and his wife Elise that year. Since our annual Broadway Bound course had ended a few years earlier, Frank and I had begun taking trips to the Big Apple with our good friends instead of as part of a class.
It was one of three trips I took to New York that year. Another was with Pat and yet another with Jeff and Lauren. The city continued to bring me great joy as we took in shows, went for bike rides in Central Park, and drank until late in the evening.
Pat was still a big part of my life and we had many other adventures together including a Cubs Game when first baseman Anthony Rizzo took to the plate with the Killers’ song The Man playing over the sound system at Wrigley Field. After the Cubs’ big World Series win the previous Fall I was now a major fan. The Killers’ song reflected their prominence in Chicago and also the personal moments when I felt on top of the world:
“I got gas in the tank
I got money in the bank
I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man
I got skin in the game
I got a household name
I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man…
No-no-nothing can break, you can't break me down”
Since mom’s health continued to decline and my brothers were involved with their own holiday celebrations, Frank and I were beginning to spend more of our end of the year with his family and our friends in Southern California. Most of our activity was centered in San Diego and Palm Springs. Frank’s sister and nieces lived in San Diego and I was enjoying their love and company more than ever. Here are three generations of Frank’s family trying to understand the 1959 Jim Backus hit “song” Delicious:
Many of our friends were descending upon Palm Springs for long trips or even longer winters. In particular, our old Chicago friends Steve and his husband Peter, had moved permanently to California. Of course, I always loved spending quality time with my old college friend Ron who was still living in San Diego with his husband George.
I also enjoyed being on the west coast and spending some time alone when I could get it. I’d walk along the beaches in San Diego playing The Man on my IPhone and feeling like I was really living the dream.
The other songs that ended up making my Top Ten that year also accompanied me on those walks. Weezer’s Beach Boys was an ode to that famous band, beaches, and the innocence of the 1960s:
“Turn it up
It's the Beach Boys
Singing out in a sweet voice
On a roll like a Rolls Royce
Keep cranking them Beach Boys”
Another positive song that captured the warmth of California or just anywhere that the sun was bringing me joy with or without friends was Courtship’s Sunroof:
“You know we're gonna do what we do best,
So won't you open up the sunroof in my head?”
Yet I also took great pleasure being at home in Wheaton. Frank and I now had a wonderful and growing neighborhood of friends - something we hadn’t had for the first 20 years living there. It was great to finally not have to drive miles into the city for a good time!
I was lucky to have so many friends though to share it all with. Foster the People’s song I Love My Friends reflected this:
“I love my friends, I love my friends
We've got each other, don't need no others
All of my friends, I love my friends
We're a disaster, yeah you know it's true”
Well, few of us were disasters but the sentiment of the song really rang true. I think Foster the People’s additional hit that year, Sit Next to Me, spoke to the thrill of having good people nearby:
“Come over here and sit next to me
We can see where things go naturally
Just say the word and I'll part the sea
Just come over here and sit next to me, ooh, ooh, ooh
And I'll take you high”
(I know, there’s a romantic element in those lyrics, but you get the point.)
Of course, the time I was able to spend alone also became increasingly important. Morrissey sang about how he “Spent the Day in Bed” with time to do as he wished. I had created a fulfilling yet hectic life making films, teaching 6-7 courses a term, and now programming a film festival for Pride Film and Plays.
Sometimes I needed the time to just chill and be by myself. Sheryl Crow explored this in Alone in the Dark, which reflected on a broken relationship:
“Here you come walking down the street
With your fake sunshine
Pouring down on me
At least I can say I have a heart
'Cause you broke it in two
Now I'd rather be alone in the dark”
Sometimes it felt better to be alone than with people I’d felt rejected by over the years. I didn’t harp on it but there was something in that song that touched a nerve. The same was true with Port Cities’ On the Nights You Stay Home. I’d often let Frank go off and spend time with people I didn’t need to see. Plus, I was happy to spend some time alone.
In the end though, it was the joy of friends, success, and love that made things really seem right for me in 2017. A cocktail or two to accompany these good times always helped. Weezer’s Happy Hour:
“I need happy hour on sad days (on sad days)
I need happy hour I can't wait (can't wait.)”
I often couldn’t wait to be doing the things I most wanted to do, whether alone or with others. These activities brought me happiness which was all I truly strove for. My therapist Tyler would ask me if I felt I had a purpose. My answer always was: “to be happy.” I think what I experienced in 2017 really reflected this.
Links
Other favorites from 2017:
Pay the Man - Foster the People, Perfect People - courtship., Sudden Feeling - HalfNoise, Can You Hear Me - Dangers of the Sea, Havana - Camila Cabello, OB1 - Jagwar Ma, Fire Dancing - Holy Oysters, Attention - Charlie Puth, Echoes - Flyte
What did your 2017 look/sound like?
Nice memories. BTW, San Diego is my home town. Lived there for 31 years. The most beautiful city in the country (IMO). I've been gone 20 years, but I'll always be a California guy.
I always laugh when I hear “Delicious,’ but I laughed even harder watching the family listen to it. The quizzical looks from the younger ones was priceless. ‘This was a hit?” The New York trips were always special and the continued success of COUNTING made this a really special year!