PalCinema Review: Familiar Touch
A woman experiences her first days living in a memory care facility
June 25, 2025
FILM: FAMILIAR TOUCH
DIRECTED BY: SARAH FRIEDLAND
STARRING: KATHLEEN CHALFANT, H. JON BENJAMIN, CAROLYN MICHELLE
RATING: 3 ½ out of 4 stars
By Dan Pal
Anyone who has ever had to deal with aging parents that can no longer care for themselves will appreciate Familiar Touch. It is directed by Sarah Friedland, who earlier this year won the Someone to Watch Award from the Independent Spirit Awards for this project. The film is a quiet meditation on one woman’s move to an assisted living facility due to memory loss. It’s a film that requires patience from audiences because it doesn’t take us on major emotional swings or resort to traditional narrative tropes. Instead, it gradually guides us through the character’s early days at the facility.
When we first meet Ruth, played beautifully by Kathleen Chalfant, she is in her home making her “signature” breakfast dish. Our first clue that she may be having some memory issues is when she puts a piece of toast on her drying rack for dishes. We continue to watch her prepare her food and get ready for the day. The doorbell rings and a man walks in who is not initially identified. For that matter, Ruth also doesn’t seem to know who he is. It is only after they arrive for her permanent move to the facility that we learn he is her son Steve, played by H. Jon Benjamin, known for years of voicing characters on series such as Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and Archer. Here, he plays it very straight. While this story is primarily centered on Ruth, we also see the pain and sadness Steve feels as he comes to terms with his mother’s decline.
Friedland does a great job directing Chalfant to illustrate Ruth’s confusion. Her face and eyes nicely capture the moments when Ruth senses something is not right. However, she also has moments of joy and calmness. One of the best scenes is when Ruth shows up in the facility’s kitchen apologizing for being late to work. Of course, we know she doesn’t work there but do know that she has a flare for cooking. In that mode, Ruth is in control, even telling the staff that it is “her kitchen.” It’s a bittersweet reminder of how some people with memory loss still might possess some of their greatest skills, those that may have been their primary talents in everyday life.
The caregivers are portrayed quite effectively by actors Carolyn Michelle as Nurse Vanessa and Andy McQueen as Doctor Brian. They take their time with Ruth and never denigrate what she is experiencing and thinking. They depict lessons in how to work with patients in selfless, caring ways. There’s probably no one watching this film that wouldn’t want to have Vanessa and Brian as their elders’, or their own, caregivers.
There are not a lot of major plot turns in the film, rather we witness the slow progression of Ruth’s acclimation to the facility where she now resides as well as her own acceptance of this new period in her life. Yes, she has a moment or two when she gets overwhelmed and distraught but Friedland never tries to over dramatize her situation.
Some may question how realistic it is to portray such an effective “geriatric country club.” We’ve all heard or experienced stories about nursing home abuse and neglect. However, that isn’t what Friedland is going for here. She wants us to walk inside the shoes of someone who is new to this stage in life. There’s not a lot of development of the other characters because Ruth herself would only have limited knowledge of who they are. We encounter them as she does.
While the film does try to illustrate an effective memory care facility’s process, some viewers may feel uncomfortable watching what Ruth goes through in these initial days. It can certainly bring up reminders to anyone who has first-hand knowledge of family or friends that have also been through this transitional state. However, there is something to be said about gaining new understanding about the point of view of a patient with memory loss and perhaps experiencing a degree of comfort in seeing it handled effectively and realistically on screen.
Familiar Touch opens Friday in limited release, including the Gene Siskel Center in Chicago.
Would you see this film? Have you experienced what it is like to put someone in an assisted living facility?
I really want to see this. I hope it comes to the Bay Area. Or becomes available to stream. I have written about this in many posts, but I have been DPOA of my aunt since 2020 and have managed her from living alone independently to developing dementia to getting her into assisted living and now in memory care. I am always looking for media that captures these important stories with nuance and honesty and wisdom, and this sounds like it does that.
My dad has been in memory care for a year and a half (vascular dementia). It's been a bumpy ride but it was getting too much for my mom to have him at home.
Will have to check this out if I get it on my streaming services.