PalCinema Review: Sex

Two men explore the norms of society

July 3, 2025

FILM: SEX

DIRECTED BY: DAG JOHAN HAUGERUD

STARRING: THORBJORN HARR, JAN GUNNAR ROISE, BIRGITTE LARSEN

RATING: 3 out of 4 stars

By Dan Pal

Clearly, the title of this film alone will draw certain viewers. It’s actually kind of amazing that in the 130 years of cinema there hasn’t been another with such a provocative title! Yet, this project from Norwegian director Dag Johan Haugerud is actually part of a trilogy he released in his native country two years ago. The other two films are Dreams and Love, which I haven’t seen. Sex though covers all three of these themes with perhaps a bit more emphasis on a sexual situation that develops between a heterosexual man, Feier, and his male client. Feier tells this story to his good friend Avdelingsleder (referred to below as A) after the latter reveals that he had a dream in which David Bowie seemed to look at him in a way he never felt anyone had looked at him before. From his perspective, Bowie saw him as a woman. (Or is it just the prescribed notion that a man getting attention from another man could only mean there is something feminine about him?)

It is during the film’s opening scene that both men’s stories are revealed. It features a long single take, which is a marvel to watch as the camera slowly switches its focus onto the respective talkers. Clearly, these guys are close friends who feel they can tell each other everything. Is it sheer coincidence that they both are experiencing same-sex attraction at the same time? Neither says they are gay and, frankly, A does think Bowie looks at him as a woman. The main thread though is that they both are receiving attention they never received before.

It’s interesting to see how calm and matter of fact Feier is when he first tells A about his encounter with the other man. This changes throughout the film though as he also discusses the situation with his wife who feels betrayed. Feier doesn’t feel he was cheating since he wasn’t developing a relationship with the other man. That is his definition of infidelity.

The film spends much of its time with the characters and wives having discussions debating the issue. What does define cheating? As such the film is VERY talky but also insightful as it lets these talks ramble on and recur. Granted, this can get a bit tiresome after a while but the questions posed are rather interesting to consider.

Serving as palette cleansers between these long scenes are shots of the Norwegian city in which they live. (This isn’t specified but “Oslo” does appear on a car at one point.) There’s a big emotional, almost old-fashioned score that accompanies these shots that doesn’t really connect much to the narrative until its final scenes.

The film seems to be exploring social norms as they relate to sexual identities and gender roles. Both of the men have wives that seem pretty strong in their respective relationships. One could argue that the Feier and A are more emotional. In fact though, it is Feier’s wife’s emotional response to his tryst that spurs him to feel increasingly conflicted about what has transpired. Elsewhere, A’s teenaged son gets a hand injury from helping move the refrigerator of two unknown women he and A pass by. This has an effect on his ability to play in his school band and to finish the costume he is sewing for his dad. The boy is thus taking on more “traditional” female roles, which neither parent seems bothered by. He seems to be a pretty mature kid.

Ultimately what I think the film’s writer/director is saying here is that the roles and norms we set for ourselves limit the potential for anyone wanting to live “outside the box.” So what if a boy wants to sew or if a man decides to have an encounter with another man while still calling himself a heterosexual. Who’s to say what is wrong or right? Is it necessary to live by the norms of a society or, in the case of A, by the morals of Christianity? Do the associated rules limit our ability to see ourselves as we really are?

Sex begins a one week run at the Gene Siskel Center in Chicago tomorrow.

What defines cheating? Gender roles? Do society’s rules limit our true selves?